Christmas treasures

I normally aim to write a blog post every month and I had every intention to actually write two in December. But then December came around and I suddenly didn't have any motivation or intention to write anything. To be honest with you, as much as I LOVE December I also felt sad, my heart was heavy and my head overwhelmed.

During Advent I was browsing on the internet and came across a Christmas jumper which had Little Miss Festive on it and I thought yup, that's me, no doubt about it! Matt even refers to me as a marketer's dream when it comes to Christmas. I love it all! Puzzles, games, jumpers, pyjamas, books - even the Christmas tree shaped crumpets :) But there are some things in December which are hard.

Asher's Birthday can be hard...

• Asher can't tell us what he wants for his Birthday.
• He can't tell us what he would like to do for his Birthday.
• Asher doesn't really play so thinking of things to get him is really tricky.
• Asher is a year older but still no words.
• Asher is a year older but still behind where his peers are at.
  
  

Buying presents for Micah and Asher is hard...

Micah's and Asher's play is very different to what is typically expected of an 8 and 4 year old, so choosing presents for these boys is hard. Do you just buy cars, cars and more cars? Do you stick just to their interests even if that might mean a seventh car transporter? Do you try some educational games and toys to try and encourage them in their learning? Do you try things to encourage speech? Do you try and branch out and get new things which they might not show any interest in or any excitement in?
Will I ever feel ok buying things that are for a much younger age then what my boys ages actually are?

Advent (The countdown) can be hard...

Counting down to things can be difficult when Micah has no concept of time. Every morning he can wake up and think this is the day for presents. When you do finally get to Christmas Day the build up may have been too much and he might struggle.

Doing activities and going to events can be hard...

• Receiving Christmas cards from children who can write their own name when my boy can't.
• Children the same age as mine reading from the Bible at church, reading out prayers or having lines in a nativity play when my boys can't.
• Finding Christmas crafts and game ideas but realising they will be too tricky.
• How much does Micah even understand about the Christmas story?
• Anything that takes place inside is normally a big no go for us. For example, festive garden centres, breakfasts with Santa, Santa's grotto visits and theatre/panto trips just don't work. Our boys seem to cope better outside. 
• Activities where 'all abilities are welcome'. I think I've learnt that while all ages might be welcome, it doesn't mean all abilities are going to be thought about or catered for.

With each thing we do or event we go to, we are having to consider...

How long will we have to wait? 
How busy will it be?
How long will it take to do?
What pace will it go at?
Do we have enough food with us?
Will anything unexpected/out of our control happen?
How might other people respond to how our boys respond?
What will the aftermath be from doing such activities and events?

Excitement verses overwhelm

Whether we are out and about or based at home, it can be really hard getting the balance right between being caught up in the excitement of your 'neurotypical' child and gently trying to encourage excitement and involvement with your 'neurodivergent' children. Trying to keep at bay overwhelm and anxiety for your 'neurodivergent' children yet trying to fully embrace the sense of anticipation that your 'neurotypical' child has.

The battle of my mind

Some of the above are things we have to consider daily and at some point it all just gets too much for my brain to deal with, the balancing things, managing things, thinking and trying to prepare for all eventualities is brain overload. So Sometimes I battle with the idea that it would be easier to simply not bother with things. But then as well as it being Asher and Micah's Christmas it's also our Christmas, and Noah's Christmas. There are things that we want to enjoy and memories that we want to make for all of us. But it's a constant mind battle. 

• What things do we try?
• Do we bother?
• Is this going to be harder work then is worthwhile?
• The event might go well but the aftermath could be tough.
• Do we try it as a family or do we need to divide to conquer?
• How many of us are actually going to enjoy this?
• Have we got the energy to try something?

The Christmas Story

I have always gone to Church ever since, well ever since I was born. So I've always been familiar with the Christmas story. There have been times where the Christmas story has seemed incredibly samey but there have also been times when each time I hear it or read about it I can find something new and meaningful from it. This year it was this 'But Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart'. And I was reminded that yup, despite the sadness, stresses and strains, there are also many positive, heart warming, funny and special moments that I need to treasure.

I don't know what the future holds for our boys. I don't even know what each Christmas will look like. But right now, these are the things I treasure in my heart from this past Christmas.

• Both boys being excited by the tree (no interest at all with decorating in any way).
• Micah's enthusiasm for Christmas paper cups (overlooking the fact the whole room was decorated).
• Family sleepovers in the lounge and Micah not sleeping, waiting for Matt and I come to bed.
• The love and appreciation for a new toothbrush.
• The joy in dancing to Christmas music.
• Both boys coming down the stairs on Christmas morning peering through the banister rails.
• Asher wanting to wear Christmas jumpers everyday.
• The enjoyment at finding what Elvis the Elf has been up to during the night.
• Micah's desire to open presents.
• Joining in with Christmas colouring and Micah's pride in doing his colouring for Daddy to see. 
• Excitement over Christmas pyjamas (well, the trousers - Micah's never been a fan of long sleeved tops).
• The fun they have during our chocolate treasure hunt.
• Excitement at seeing family over Christmas.
• How Micah still says 'It was lovely Christmas morning wasn't it'.