May Musings - School

When choosing a school for Micah, we always knew that we wanted him to start at a mainstream school but at some point along the way, with his learning disability, that mainstream wouldn't be the best place for him anymore. As long as he seemed happy, was able to mix with the rest of the class, made progress and seemed to cope/tolerate/enjoy the mainstream structure and activities, then we would keep him there. 

In our heads and from talking to friends/family and some professionals we always hoped that Micah would be able to experience reception, year one and year two in a mainstream school with 1-2-1 support and then after that, recognised that schooling may well look different for him. 

And here we are, with only two terms of year two left to go. This in itself has been a journey. We have spent a lot of time:

• researching different schools
• narrowing the list of schools down to those who are more resourced to work with complex needs
• Zoom tours (due to Covid)
• actual school visits
• countless conversations
• doubting ourselves
• more conversations
• grieving
• feeling confident in our decisions
• more conversations and final decisions being made
• school preferences being chosen
• school preferences saying whether or not they can meet Micah's needs and whether or not they have space
• a space being offered
• accepting the space offered.

It's all starting to seem very real and that it's happening very soon.

So for KS2 (Years 3 - 6) we have chosen for Micah to try going to a different mainstream school but one that has an SRP (Specialist Resource Provision) as part of that school. This means Micah will be in a class of around 10 children all who have different additional needs but at times they will integrate the children, if they are able, with other mainstream classes/activities.

How do I feel about it?
Honestly... I don't know. The world of SRP's are so unknown to us.

Can I picture him there?
I don't know. I can only really picture him where I've known him to be because he's been happy and settled.

Did I get that positive 'feeling' when I first walked into the school?
I don't know. I don't think so but then I think I have always tried to keep this decision as a head one more than a heart one and if I'm really honest, part of me doesn't want to write this 'before' part of his schooling journey, not really knowing how it's going to go. 

Things that sting...

When I found out about Micah's learning disability I felt completely heartbroken and a gut wrenching winded feeling which lasted for a long time. These feelings are still there but alongside them come the stings.

The sting of other children doing SATS but Micah isn't.
The sting of childing getting a place in the local junior school but Micah isn't.
The sting of Junior school tours happening for Micah's class but it not being the school he will go to. 
The sting of Micah's older brother being really sad and worried about how Micah will feel about going to a different school with no one he knows.

Questions that go around in my head...

Will you miss your friends?
Will your friends miss you?
Will you be sad to leave your school? 
Will you be excited to go to a new school?
Will you be ok going to a school that has no link to Noah?
Will you be ok wearing a different uniform?
Will you be ok with us driving to your new school instead of walking or going on your scooter?
Will the teachers 'get you'? Like properly get you not just think they get you?
Will the teachers be kind and show love towards you?
What will you think of the other children in your class?
What will those friendships look like?
Is this the best place for you to be?
Have we made the right decision?
Will you thrive there?
Will your achievements, however small or big, be celebrated?
Will you be happy?

Reasons to be thankful...

That Micah has been given a space in a school that was one of our preferences.
That Micah has had many positive experiences in a mainstream school.
That Micah's speech has come on so much through mixing with adults and children in the school.
That Micah's social skills have developed through mixing with other children in the school
That Micah has had some fantastic teachers loving him, enjoying him and supporting him
That Micah loves PE, music, lunchtime and science.
That Micah has been able to experience school trips.
That Micah has grown in happiness, confidence and independence when going into school.
That Micah and Noah were able to have a sibling photo together (even though this was not enjoyable at the time and very stress inducing :)
That Micah has been surrounded by children who are really fond of him and have been kind. 
That Micah by just being himself has been able to give the children in his class and school an opportunity to be with someone who is very different to them.

To be continued...