May Musings - School holidays

I know I'm not alone when I'm counting down for the school holidays to begin and there is that sigh of relief for the thought of NO SCHOOL RUN for a week or two and the possibility of staying in pjs for a little longer in the mornings, or all day (don't judge me).

If Matt has time off work as well then this is great, we can have some good quality family time. I'm also thinking hooray for adult company and hooray for extra help.

I can remember when Noah was younger and although the holidays were FULL ON and by no means perfect, Noah would play with me or by himself. I would go on Pinterest and come up with different activities for us to do, games and crafts, indoors and outdoors. We'd spend time being by ourselves and being with people.

The last few years, holidays have looked and felt different.

Knowing a school holiday is coming up and if I know that Matt will be working for a lot of it, it brings feelings of anxiety, loneliness, thoughts of failure, managing/lowering expectations, guilt and boredom.

Our school holidays include...

Play

If we are inside the house Micah plays with cars. He lines cars up. He moves cars around. He hides cars. He'll even play paw patrol with cars but not with paw patrol toys. Micah will look at himself in a mirror or iPad screen and sing to himself. This is his play. Occasionally he'll show an interest in other things but this is his play.

Asher plays with cars. He puts them in his mouth. He will move cars around. He will hide cars. He will throw cars. He will watch Micah play with cars and pass him more cars. Oh and you'll also see him carrying around the odd Lego board and lying on the floor.

And I have a 10 year old to entertain.

This play for them is quite therapeutic and calming but for me it is incredibly repetitive and... boring.

Repetitive speech...

Micah's speech is very repetitive and even more so when there is no clear routine or structure so most days it is the same questions asked over and over and over again as Micah has no concept of time.

This speech for Micah is reassuring and comforting but for me it brings anxiety of always having to have a plan or an answer.

Playdates...

There aren't many if any.

For the boys, their play looks different to other children their age so they don't actually spend time playing with them. Having more people around, although Micah loves people, it can also make him more clingy to me. Having other adults around who out of kindness and love are wanting to help and be hands on and make things easier, can actually have the opposite affect.

Staying in...

Going out with all three of my boys is hard and I would actually say that right now I find it pretty much impossible. If I take them all out, can I actually keep all three children safe?

I have one completely independent child and two very dependant children, both of whom are likely to go off in different directions, want to do different things, be in different moods and react differently wherever we go, be that parks, swimming, the beach, soft play, a farm or scooting around the block etc.

I hear people thinking 'just get Noah to help'  but I don't want to go out and have my 10 year old be my 'help', I want him to be 10. He 100% would help but do I want and think I should ask him all the time? Nope.

Staying in for Micah and Asher probably wouldn't be their first option. They love being outside! For me, staying in is safe but lonely and even makes me feel a bit like a failure because I have three boys but I don't feel able to take them all out by myself.

So yeah, the school holidays bring to the surface lots of feelings and emotions but they also bring times of fun, laughing, smiles, constant refereeing between boys and plenty of silliness.

What worked at Easter*

Setting up a Tuff tray table with rice, oats or something seasonal (normally cars end up here, being hidden and driving through it) 
Putting a lot of the toys away and only having a few out
Going out in the garden and also doing things in different rooms
Having a rough structure for the day for Micah but also for my sanity
Music and dancing (or noise to some people!)
Playdoh and cutters/pastry and cutters
Painting in Ziplock bags (Mess free painting)
Contact/self adhesive paper (Sticky wall activities)
Having a certain time in the day where Matt can come out with us on his lunch break
Being able to embrace having more time to do things with the boys like puzzles or reading at a time when they are not exhausted like they are after preschool/school
Bringing mattresses, duvets and pillows down stairs to watch TV

This list of things I hope might be helpful for other mums and dads out there who have children with additional needs but also the list is for myself. A little reminder and reassurance for when I start counting down to the next holiday.

*Full disclosure

• These things can last from a matter of seconds to a couple of minutes. I can't even take photos of some of these things because they are over so quick :)
• It works better if I can get the bigger brother involved :)
• I love going on Pinterest and coming up with a bit of a plan/theme and getting a bit creative. I hope the variety benefits the boys but I think really the variety is more for me and a way of staying sane and feeling like I've accomplished something in the day.